My introduction to Grace

Connecting with Sri Ramana Maharshi and Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj in Arunachala

Two weeks ago I first landed in Tiruvannamalai. I had zero expectations. I wanted to meet Arunachala and Jubin. In one of his beautiful blog posts about Tiru, Jubin shares his thoughts about “Who Am I” or the journey to self-inquiry. 

According to Advaita, there are two “I’s” we refer to one is the limited body-mind complex ‘I’ which we generally refer to.

I want to do this, I like that, I don’t like this, the I which is a writer or a painter or an entrepreneur or any such limited identity. And then there is the greater ‘I’- which we can call God or consciousness or any other word one wants to call it. This consciousness is all-pervading- in advaitic terms, it is called the ‘Brahman‘. And once a person starts relating with the greater ‘I’, the great calm- the problems of the smaller ‘I’ just become occurrences and don’t cause any ripple in an individual.

When I came to Tiru, I had zero understanding of Bhagwan(Sri Ramana Maharshi) and his teachings. I have been at arm's length from all types of babas and gurus. Jubin introduced me to him and now I experience him on a daily basis. While sitting in silence and at other times reading him.

Today as I go back to Bangalore. Two things I carry with me: 

• Peace 

• and grace.

Grace never existed in my life. It was first Jubin and then later Saraswati who introduced me to the word.

“It is grace that has brought you to the land of Shiva - Arunachala,” said Jubin.

Over the next two weeks, Bhagwan’s Ashram became my getaway. Due to COVID, the timings of Ashram are slightly restricted. In the morning from 8 to 11 and in the afternoon from 2 to 5. I would spend 30 minutes in the morning and sometimes 30 minutes in the noon. On workdays, only mornings would be possible. And in no time I started rejoicing my 20-25 minute meditation. 

Ideally, I would enter the Ashram after a quick coffee and sit in the small meditation room. Later on, I started sitting in the big hall and was completely okay with any form of disturbance. I would be at complete peace with no anxiety or stress. 

I was hungry for more. 

During his lifetime Bhagwan lived in different caves on the slopes of Arunachala. One of them is Virupaksha Cave where he lived for 17 years. The caves are closed due to COVID restrictions. (However, the Skandasramam cave opens between 8:15 and 8:30 for thirty minutes. A priest comes during this time to do a small prayer and if you are there then you get invited inside.)

With a smiling face, Jubin decided to be my Margdarshak to the caves. Last Sunday after we finished our time in the Ashram we decided to go to the caves. We started our barefoot walk towards the cave from Agni Lingam.

It is a 40-45 minute walk one way that anyone can do at an easy pace. There are places to sit on the way but do carry water since there is one shop at the top that sells lemon soda.

During our walk towards the caves, we discussed the books that have changed our life. For me, it is The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. For Jubin it is I am That by Maharaj (Nisargadatta Maharaj) and Old Path White Clouds by Thich Nhat Hanh.

I am That(#readingnow) is a compilation of talks on Shiva Advaita (Nondualism) philosophy by Maharaj - a spiritual teacher who lived in Mumbai and came from a very humble background.

I instantly felt connected to Maharaj who just focusses on the being. We are not the body or the mind. We are just “I AM” the consciousness. But most of us love to associate things with the being such as “I AM this and that”. Basically, we let the ego take over our being. 

The walk to the caves was over in no time. While coming back we had indulged ourselves with some healthy food at Shati Cafe. Do try their veg baguette sandwich with orange juice. They make their own bread and every bite is bliss. 

That night I could barely sleep. By 6:15 in the morning, I was out on the roads of Tiru not for a run but to visit Arunachala. This walk was more present as I was by myself and with the sound of nature. I sat at the top looked at the Arunachala temple which I am yet to visit. While coming back I could sense there are so many narrow paths taking a diversion from the main path. 

I have borrowed the book from Jubin. There are portions where the conversation goes over the head but some connect deeply.

“To know what you are, you must first investigate and know what you are not.”

These days I try to observe what I don’t like and as a result drive away anxiety. I cut them off. Being in Tiru it is easy to do so, my challenge would be once I am back in Bangalore.

“Detach yourself from all that makes your mind restless. Renounce all that disturbs its peace. If you want peace, deserve it.”

From trying to understand “Who Am I” I have found a path that leads to “I am That”. Interestingly one is a thought from Bhagwan and the other is the core teaching from Maharaj. While Jubin and I joke saying it is a loop but eventually both lead to your inner self.

This week I also got a chance to spend some time at the Sri Seshadri Swamigal Ashram - another place that struck a chord with me. The canteen located right at the entry serves delicious South Indian meals for INR70/- and you can get a kadak adrak chai right next to the Lassi Shop on the main road. The tea shop is run by a lady and for INR 10 you have a nice cup of hot tea.

When Bhagwan was meditating in Patal Lingam where the sunlight never penetrated, Seshadri Swamigal would stand as a guard and also take care of Bhagwan - as he had given up on his bodily needs.

Seshadri ashram is a divine place and the meditation hall has statues of all gurus to give you company. I was there for an hour and I was at peace.

In a slow and long conversation with Rick Archer, Gautam Sachdeva who speaks and writes about Advaita says that finally, the quest is all about having a peaceful mind in daily living.

Gautam further talks about his first meeting with Eckhart Tolle and his guru Ramesh Balsekar( Maharaj was the guru of Ramesh). He also talks about “I AM”, Maharaj and of course Bhagawan. 

You must be wondering that the next thing Prasant would be doing is starting Zoom classes on how to find yourself Satsang :) I am a selfish being, whose only interest is to spend his life in peace. 

In the last two weeks, nothing major has happened. My work remains my priority, I still go for a run and whenever I get time I sneak into Ashram and as a result spend some peaceful time. However, I still have my struggles but the anxieties have been less.

The realisation of who I am has not happened because I wanted to make it happen. I have been trying to do it in Bangalore for some time now. Coming to Tiru it feels like everything has connected and suddenly I witness something that was always hidden inside me.

In the last two weeks, I have experienced that true happiness is in knowing my inner self.

“True happiness cannot be found in things that change and pass away. Happiness comes from self and can be found in the self only.”

If today I have found the path to my peace then it has to be some bigger force that has made this happen. I was definitely seeking it and grace made it happen.

According to Bhagwan in the presence of the Sun, some buds blossom, not all. The fault however does not lie with the Sun, though it is true that bud cannot blossom by itself. It requires sunlight to do it. Grace is thus recognised as the key ingredient for deliverance.

I want to live a peaceful life and I have found a path to walk on. If grace has made it happen then I accept it with folded hands so that when I return back I can keep walking on the same path.

“All you need is to keep quietly alert, enquiring into real nature of yourself. This is the only way to peace.”

Om Arunachala 🙏

P.S. All quotes used in this blog are from the book I am That.